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IV
IV
To Atticus (In Epirus)
Rome, 5 December, 61 B.C.
Your letter, in which you inclose copies of his letters, has made me
realize that my brother Quintus` feelings have undergone many alternations,
and that his opinions and judgments have varied widely from time to time. This
has not only caused me all the pain which my extreme affection for both of you
was bound to bring, but it has also made me wonder what can have happened to
cause my brother Quintus such deep offence, or such an extraordinary change of
feeling. And yet I was already aware, as I saw that you also, when you took
leave of me, were beginning to suspect, that there was some lurking
dissatisfaction, that his feelings were wounded, and that certain unfriendly
suspicions had sunk deep into his heart. On trying on several previous
occasions, but more eagerly than ever after the allotment of his province, to
assuage these feelings, I failed to discover on the one hand that the extent
of his offence was so great as your letter indicates; but on the other I did
not make as much progress in allaying it as I wished. However, I consoled
myself with thinking that there would be no doubt of his seeing you at
Dyrrachium, or somewhere in your part of the country: and, if that happened, I
felt sure and fully persuaded that everything would be made smooth between
you, not only by conversation and mutual explanation, but by the very sight of
each other in such an interview. For I need not say in writing to you, who
know it quite well, how kind and sweet-tempered my brother is, as ready to
forgive as he is sensitive in taking offence. But it most unfortunately
happened that you did not see him anywhere. For the impression he had received
from the artifices of others had more weight with him than duty or
relationship, or the old affection so long existing between you, which ought
to have been the strongest influence of all. And yet, as to where the blame
for this misunderstanding resides, I can more easily conceive than write:
since I am afraid that` while defending my own relations, I should not spare
yours. For I perceive that, though no actual wound was inflicted by members of
the family, they yet could at least have cured it. But the root of the
mischief in this case, which perhaps extends farther than appears, I shall
more conveniently explain to you when we meet. As to the letter he sent to you
from Thessalonica, and about the language which you suppose him to have used
both at Rome among your friends and on his journey, I don`t know how far the
matter went, but my whole hope of removing this unpleasantness rests on your
kindness. For if you will only make up your mind to believe that the best men
are often those whose feelings are most easily irritated and appeased, and
that this quickness, so to speak, and sensitiveness of disposition are
generally signs of a good heart; and lastly - and this is the main thing -
that we must mutually put up with each other`s gaucheries (shall I call
them?), or faults, or injurious acts, then these misunderstandings will, I
hope, be easily smoothed away. I beg you to take this view, for it is the
dearest wish of my heart (which is yours as no one else`s can be) that there
should not be one of my family or friends who does not love you and is not
loved by you.
That part of your letter was entirely superfluous, in which you mention
what opportunities of doing good business in the provinces or the city you let
pass at other times as well as in the year of my consulship: for I am
thoroughly persuaded of your unselfishness and magnanimity, nor did I ever
think that there was any difference between you and me except in our choice of
a career. Ambition led me to seek official advancement, while another and
perfectly laudable resolution led you to seek and honourable privacy. In the
true glory, which is founded on honesty, industry, and piety, I place neither
myself nor anyone else above you. In affection towards myself, next to my
brother and immediate family, I put you first. For indeed, indeed I have seen
and thoroughly appreciated how your anxiety and joy have corresponded with the
variations of my fortunes. Often has your congratulation added a charm to
praise, and your consolation a welcome antidote to alarm. Nay, at this moment
of your absence, it is not only your advice - in which you excel - but the
interchange of speech - in which no one gives me so much delight as you do -
that I miss most, shall I say in politics, in which circumspection is always
incumbent on me, or in my forensic labour, which I formerly sustained with a
view to official promotion, and nowadays to maintain my position by securing
popularity, or in the mere business of my family? In all these I missed you
and our conversations before my brother left Rome, and still more do I miss
them since. Finally, neither my work nor rest, neither my business nor
leisure, neither my affairs in the forum nor at home, public or private, can
any longer do without your most consolatory and affectionate counsel and
conversation. The modest reserve which characterizes both of us has often
prevented my mentioning these facts; but on this occasion it was rendered
necessary by that part of your letter in which you expressed a wish to have
yourself and your character "put straight" and "cleared" in my eyes. Yet, in
the midst of all this unfortunate alienation and anger on his part, there is
yet one fortunate circumstance - that your determination of not going to a
province was known to me and your other friends, and had been at various times
asserted by yourself; so that your not being with him may be attributed to
your personal tastes and judgment, not to the quarrel and rupture between you.
So those ties which have been broken will be restored, and ours which have
been so religiously preserved will retain all their old inviolability. At Rome
I find politics in a shaky condition; everything is unsatisfactory and
foreboding change. For I have no doubt you have been told that our friends,
the equites, are all but alienated from the senate. Their first grievance was
the promulgation of a bill on the authority of the senate for the trial of
such as had taken bribes for giving a verdict. I happened not to be in the
house when that decree was passed, but when I found that the equestrian order
was indignant at it, and yet refrained from openly saying so, I remonstrated
with the senate, as I thought, in very impressive language, and was very
weighty and eloquent considering the unsatisfactory nature of my cause. But
here is another piece of almost intolerable coolness on the part of the
equites, which I have not only submitted to, but have even put in as good a
light as possible! The companies which had contracted with the censors for
Asia complained that in the heat of the competition they had taken the
contract at an excessive price; they demanded that the contract should be
annulled. I led in their support, or rather, I was second, for it was Crassus
who induced them to venture on this demand. The case is scandalous, the demand
a disgraceful one, and a confession of rash speculation. Yet there was a very
great risk that, if they got no concession, they would be completely alienated
from the senate. Here again I came to the rescue more than anyone else, and
secured them a full and very friendly house, in which I, on the 1st and 2nd of
December, delivered long speeches on the dignity and harmony of the two
orders. The business is not yet settled, but the favourable feeling of the
senate has been made manifest: for no one had spoken against it except the
consul-designate, Metellus; while our hero Cato had still to speak, the
shortness of the day having prevented his turn being reached. Thus I, in the
maintenance of my steady policy, preserve to the best of my ability that
harmony of the orders which was originally my joiner`s work; but since it all
now seems in such a crazy condition, I am constructing what I may call a road
towards the maintenance of our power, a safe one I hope, which I cannot fully
describe to you in a letter, but of which I will nevertheless give you a hint.
I cultivate close intimacy with Pompey. I foresee what you will say. I will
use all necessary precautions, and I will write another time at greater length
about my schemes for managing the Republic. You must know that Lucceius has it
in his mind to stand for the consulship at once; for there are said to be only
two candidates in prospect. Caesar is thinking of coming to terms with him by
the agency of Arrius, and Bibulus also thinks he may effect a coalition with
him by means of C. Piso. You smile? This is no laughing matter, believe me.
What else shall I write to you? What? I have plenty to say, but must put it
off to another time. If you mean to wait till you hear, let me know. For the
moment I am satisfied with a modest request, though it is what I desire above
everything - that you should come to Rome as soon as possible.
5 December.
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