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XXIII
XXIII
To L. Papirius Paetus (at Naples)
Tusculum, July, 46 B.C.
I was charmed with your letter, in which, first of all, what I loved was
the tenderness which prompted you to write, in alarm lest Silius should by his
news have caused me any anxiety. About this news, not only had you written to
me before - in fact twice, one letter being a duplicate of the other - shewing
me clearly that you were upset, but I also had answered you in full detail, in
order that I might, as far as such a business and such a crisis admitted, free
you from your anxiety, or at any rate alleviate it. But since you shew in your
last also how anxious you are about that matter - make up your mind to this,
my dear Paetus: that whatever could possibly be accomplished by art - for it
is not enough nowadays to contend with mere prudence, a sort of system must be
elaborated - however, whatever could be done or effected towards winning and
securing the good will of those men I have done, and not, I think, in vain.
For I receive such attentions, such politenesses from all Caesar`s favourites
as make me believe myself beloved by them. For, though genuine love is not
easily distinguished from feigned, unless some crisis occurs of a kind to test
faithful affection by its danger, as gold in the fire, there are other
indications of a general nature. But I only employ one proof to convince me
that I am loved from the heart and in sincerity - namely, that my fortune and
theirs is of such a kind as to preclude any motive on their part for
pretending. In regard, again, to the man who now possesses all power, I see no
reason for my being alarmed: except the fact that, once depart from law,
everything is uncertain; and that nothing can be guaranteed as to the future
which depends on another man`s will, not to say caprice. Be that as it may,
personally his feelings have in no respect been wounded by me. For in that
particular point I have exhibited the greatest self-control. For, as in old
times I used to reckon that to speak without reserve was a privilege of mine,
since to my exertions the existence of liberty in the state was owing, so, now
that that is lost, I think it is my duty to say nothing calculated to offend
either his wishes or those of his favourites. But if I want to avoid the
credit of certain keen or witty epigrams, I must entirely abjure a reputation
for genius, which I would not refuse to do, if I could. But after all Caesar
himself has a very keen critical faculty, and, just as your cousin Servius -
whom I consider to have been a most accomplished man of letters - had no
difficulty in saying: "This verse is not Plautus`, this is - " because he had
acquired a sensitive ear by dint of classifying the various styles of poets
and habitual reading, so I am told that Caesar, having now completed his
volumes of bons mots, if anything is brought to him as mine, which is not so,
habitually rejects it. This he now does all the more, because his intimates
are in my company almost every day. Now in the course of our discursive talk
many remarks are let fall, which perhaps at the time of my making them seem to
them wanting neither in literary flavour nor in piquancy. These are conveyed
to him along with the other news of the day: for so he himself directed. Thus
it comes about that if he is told of anything besides about me, he considers
that he ought not to listen to it. Wherefore I have no need of your Oenomaus,
though your quotation of Accius` verses was very much on the spot. But what
is this jealousy, or what have I now of which anyone can be jealous? But
suppose the worst. I find that the philosophers, who alone in my view grasp
the true nature of virtue, hold that the wise man does not pledge himself
against anything except doing wrong; and of this I consider myself clear in
two ways, first in that my views were almost absolutely correct; and second
because, when I found that we had not sufficient material force to maintain
them, I was against a trial of strength with the stronger party. Therefore, so
far as the duty of a good citizen is concerned, I am certainly not open to
reproach. What remains is that I should not say or do anything foolish or rash
against the men in power: that too, I think, is the part of the wise man. As
to the rest - what this or that man may say that I said, or the light in which
he views it, or the amount of good faith with which those who continually seek
me out and pay me attention may be acting - for these things I cannot be
responsible. The result is that I console myself with the consciousness of my
uprightness in the past and my moderation in the present, and apply that
simile of Accius` not to jealousy, but to fortune, which I hold - as being
inconstant and frail - ought to be beaten back by a strong and manly soul, as
a wave is by a rock. For, considering that Greek history is full of examples
of how the wisest men endured tyrannies either at Athens or Syracuse, when,
though their countries were enslaved, they themselves in a certain sense
remained free - am I to believe that I cannot so maintain my position as not
to hurt anyone`s feelings and yet not blast my own character?
I now come to your jests, since as an afterpiece to Accius` Oenomaus,
you have brought on the stage, not, as was his wont, an Atellan play, but,
according to the present fashion, a mime. What`s all this about a pilot -
fish, a denarius, and a dish of salt fish and cheese? In my old easy-going
days I put up with that sort of thing: but times are changed. Hirtius and
Dolabella are my pupils in rhetoric, but my masters in the art of dining. For
I think you must have heard, if you really get all news, that their practice
is to declaim at my house, and mine to dine at theirs. Now it is no use your
making an affidavit of insolvency to me: for when you had some property, petty
profits used to keep you a little too close to business; but as things are
now, seeing that you are losing money so cheerfully, all you have to do, when
entertaining me, is to regard yourself as accepting a "composition"; and even
that loss is less annoying when it comes from a friend than from a debtor.
Yet, after all, I don`t require dinners superfluous in quantity: only let what
there is be first-rate in quality and recherche. I remember you used to tell
me stories of Phamea`s dinner. Let yours be earlier, but in other respects
like that. But if you persist in bringing me back to a dinner like your
mother`s, I should put up with that also. For I should like to see the man who
had the face to put on the table for me what you describe, or even a polypus -
looking as red as Iupiter Miniatus. Believe me, you won`t dare. Before I
arrive the fame of my new magnificence will reach you: and you will be
awestruck at it. Yet it is no use building any hope on your hors d`oeuvre. I
have quite abolished that: for in old times I found my appetite spoilt by your
olives and Lucanian sausages. But why all this talk? Let me only get to you.
By all means - for I wish to wipe away all fear from your heart - go back to
your old cheese-and-sardine dish. The only expense I shall cause you will
be that you will have to have the bath heated. All the rest according to my
regular habits. What I have just been saying was all a joke.
As to Selicius` villa, you have managed the business carefully and
written most wittily. So I think I won`t buy. For there is enough salt and not
enough savour.
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